Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

Welcome to the Dark Side

Welcome to the Dark Side

Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Visit Here

Basic Shit

Facebook / Myspace / Xanga

First Things First – If you’re looking for my genteel, nice-guy stuff, you’re looking in THE WRONG PLACE – go to one of the other pages on this site instead.

Everything posted is here for educational and informational purposes only. Don’t try this at home, kids!

The difference between the two sides of me is that the nice-guy side will kill you quick and mercifully – with a knife across the throat, or a head-shot – while my dark side will use a baseball bat, shotgun blast to the gut, that sort of thing.

That is, of course, in the rhetorical sense – I’d NEVER do that sort of thing physically. [wink][wink]

The reason that I signed up on Myspace as a comedian is that I’ve always been a sort of smart-ass (better than a dumb-ass, right?), and who knows? Maybe someone will be willing to pay me to be my natural, smart-ass self? Maybe not, but I can still hope . . . ?

For those who don’t like what I post here, guess what – there’s no right to be unoffended by what other people say, and (last time I checked), no one is forcing you to read this.

When I’m asked about my “Occupation,” I list “Various” because I’ve had a few – rabble-rouser, scofflaw, cable-access TV guru.

People I want to meet

Sluts, smart-asses, rabble-rousers, scofflaws, thrash metal fans, smugglers, protestors, revolutionaries, ethical sociopaths – the truly interesting people.

For potential girlfriends, all of the above traits would be preferable.

My Interests and Hobbies

The Seven Deadly Sins, sex, drinking, violence, breaking the law, wasting time, pissing people off, blogging, sedition and subversion

And combinations of the above activities, as applicable

Projects, Hijinks and Scandals

Don Schrader for Governor
Heil, ACORN!
My Corrective Phrenology Clinic
Personal Lifestyle Management Services
The Used Soul Exchange
Will Work For Food – Franchises Still Available!

Rot Your Brain!

Movies and Television    Aqua Teen Hunger Force    Archer Bad Taste    Beavis and Butthead Bitch Slap the Movie!   
Cheyenne Cinnamon    Da Ali G Show    Drawn Together Frisky Dingo /
The Xtacles   
Meet the Feebles
Minoriteam    Robot Chicken    Soul Quest Overdrive    South Park    Squidbillies
Stroker and Hoop    The Venture Bros. Titan Maximum    Top Gear (UK version)    Top Gear (U.S. version)   
Total Drama Island    Wonder Showzen
Porn (Free!)    WorldSex XVideos YouPorn RedTube
Reading    The Daily Rotten Hustler Humor Sluggy Freelance    Truly Tasteless Jokes
Sports    Deadspin

Heroes of the Day

Ali G    Bruno    Bun-bun    Frank Castle    Cthulhu    George Hayduke    Lazarus Long   
Lobo    Malcolm Reynolds    Borat Sagdeev    Master Shake    Jerry Springer    V           

So what if some of the above are fictional? That doesn’t stop them from being role models of upstanding character for everyone else to follow.

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