Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Fisking an idiot spammer

Filed under: Correspondence, Dark Side, Humor — Tags: , , — mikewb1971 @ 12:37 AM (00:37)

As per my SOP with fisking, the original article’s content is in the blockquote paragraphs, and my comments are in red.

Now, on to the fun . . .

from: aslam bantva <aslammemon88@gmail.com>
to: me, 66 others
date: Sun, Apr 30, 2017 at 3:20 AM
subject: Request for Engagement Ceremony/Happy Wedding Arrangements and helps all financial problems/arrangements/Flats/Jewellerie’s/Furniture’s/K-Electric Department (Electricity Line)/KW&SB Department (Water Line)/SSGC Department (Gas Line)/Jobs Vacancies and other expenses of my daughter Samreen Muhammad Aslam Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia,CNIC # 42301-6280191-9, Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060
mailed-by: gmail.com
signed-by: gmail.com
encryption: Standard (TLS)

Nothing like putting an entire paragraph in the “Subject” line. And a one-sentence paragraph at that.

Respecting my dear lovely President,my dear lovely Prime Minister,my dear lovely Vice President, my dear lovely Deputy Prime Minister,my dear lovely Deputy Vice President,my dear lovely Deputy President,Foreign Minister, my dear lovely Vice Prime Minister,Governor,Trade Minister,HRM,Finance Minister,All Ministers,Chairman,Managing Director,Director, General Manager, Managers, Officers,All Staff Members,All Members and All Madams etc.

He forgot the Janitors, Groundskeepers, Cooks, Servers, Etc., as well as the Bureaucrats, Grifters, Whackjobs, and Other Assorted Asswipes. Or are those people covered under “All Members and All Madams, etc.” ? One wonders.

Please helps all financial problems on the above noted subject, by your congratulations hands and by your very lucky office. Awaiting your reply as soon as possible. I request you that my daughter Samreen D/o Muhammad Aslam (Babu) Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia and Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060,CNIC # 42301-6280191-9 R/o Memon Arcade, Plot No. 79/10, Room No.401, 4th Floor, Opp: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane, Karachi-75660 Sindh Pakistan and R/o Anees Manzil,Flat No.32, 3rd Floor, Near Chottani Medical Store, Moosa Lane, Lyari Town, Karachi-75660 Sindh-Pakistan with Danish S/o Muhammad Iqbal Biddu, R/o City Tower, Block “C”, 2nd Floor, Near Nomani Masjid,Near Lasbella,Teen Hatti, Karachi-Pakistan (Cases Nos.340 and 21/2009 Membership # F-12598) at Bantva Memon Jamat/All Pakistan Memon Federation(APMF),Apmf House, Opp: Islamia College, Jamshed Road, Karachi-Pakistan contact # 32768214,0333-3163170 and 0333-2255300 is pending in the office of World Memon Organisation (WMO)/Bantva Memon Jamat/All Pakistan Memon Federation(APMF),Apmf House, Opp: Islamia College, Jamshed Road, Karachi-Pakistan. Samreen D/o Muhammad Aslam(Babu) Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia, Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060,CNIC # 42301-6280191-9 is facing lot of very difficulties. I am very poor man. I pray the matter comes to a happy end once and for all and Allah bless you for your efforts.

So this guy is spamming foreigners like me so he can pay his bills?

Please helps all financial problems reply as soon as possible. I request you to send your cheques zakats/donations/grants myself Muhammad Aslam (Babu) S/o Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia, Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060,CNIC# 42301-6280191-9, R/o Memon Acade, Plot No. 79/10, Room No.401, 4th Floor, Opp: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane, Karachi-75660 Sindh Pakistan and R/o Anees Manzil,Flat No.32, 3rd Floor, Near Chottani Medical Store, Moosa Lane, Lyari Town, Karachi-75660 Sindh-Pakistan with Shamim D/o Suleman Adam Mandotrawla, R/o Memon Acade, Plot No. 79/10, Room No.401, 4th Floor, Opp: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane, Karachi-75660 Sindh Pakistan (Case # 340 and 21/2009 Membership # F-12598) at World Memon Organisation (WMO)/ Bantva Memon Jamat/All Pakistan Memon Federation(APMF),Apmf House, Opp: Islamia College, Jamshed Road, Karachi-Pakistan contact # 32768214,0333-3163170 and 0333-2255300 is pending in the office of Bantva Memon Jamat/All Pakistan Memon Federation(APMF),Apmf House, Opp: Islamia College, Jamshed Road, Karachi-Pakistan. Muhammad Aslam (Babu) S/o Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia, Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060,CNIC # 42301-6280191-9 is facing lot of difficulties. I am very poor man. I pray the matter comes to a happy end once and for all and Allah bless you for your efforts.

I looked up “zakat” on Wikipedia — according to that article, zakat is supposed to be collected by some government agency in Pakistan. Mr. Aslam isn’t supposed to be spamming foreigners for his welfare checks.

Thanks with best regards and thanks with best wishes. Kindly acknowledge the receipt.

“Kindly acknowledge the receipt.” ? Shouldn’t that be phrased as a request? After all, Mr. Aslam is the guy wanting cash from my pocket.

AND

Please help to me as soon as possible. The family members of Muhammad Aslam (Babu) S/o Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia, Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060,CNIC # 42301-6280191-9 are very very thank you and with best wishes all financial problems,arrangements,flats,Jewellery,Furnitures,Electricity,Waters,Gas, Jobs and other expenses of my Son of Sumair(Sameer) S/o Muhammed Aslam (Babu) Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia (Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060, CNIC # 42301-6280191-9 of my son is respectfully submitting that the engagement and happy wedding ceremony of my son Sumair Muhammad Aslam(Babu) Jan Muhammad Kapdia is scheduled to be held at Karachi. We pray to Almighty Allah for your good health, peace and prosperity. I request your goodself to help me with sadaqaats,zakats,donations and grants as soon as possible.

Please help to me as soon as possible. The family members of Muhammad Aslam (Babu)S/o Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia, Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060,CNIC # 42301-6280191-9) are very very thank you and with best wishes all financial problems,arrangements,flats,Jewellery,Furnitures,Electricity,Waters,Gas, Jobs and other expenses of myself Muhammad Aslam S/o Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia (Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060,CNIC # 42301-6280191-9 of myself is respectfully submiting that the engagement and happy wedding ceremony of myself Muhammad Aslam (Babu) Jan Muhammad Kapdia is scheduled to be held at Karachi. We pray to Almighty Allah for your good health, peace and prosperity. I request your goodself to help me with sadaqaats donations and grants as soon as possible.

Rather repetitive fuck, isn’t he?

I am a low-paid employee and after having spent a big portion of my salary every month towards repayment of my debts, I cannot manage necessary expenses of livelihood. Even the fees of my school-going children are running in arrear and I am burdened with heavy expenditure every month. This different situation has mentally paralysed me and my family making my life very miserable.

I have therefore no alternative but to seek your kind favour of financial assistance so that I may meet the basic necessities of life.. May Allah shower you his blessings!

AND

The family members of Muhammad Aslam (Babu) S/o Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia, Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060 CNIC # 42301-6280191-9 are very very thank you and with best wishes all financial problems, arrangements, Flats,Jewellery,Furnitures,Electricity,Waters,Gas, Jobs and other expenses of my daughter Samreen Muhammad Aslam(Babu) Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia, Bantva Memon Jamat Membership No.G 8060 CNIC # 42301-6280191-9, R/o. Anees Manzil, Flat No.32, 3rd Floor, Near Masmoon Hospital and Chottani Medical Store, Moosa Lane,Lyari Town, Karachi-75660 Sindh-Pakistan. Awaiting your payments please expedite your very good hand cheque accepting of my daughter all financial all problems and arrangements,Flats,Jewellery,Furnitures,Electricity,Waters,Gas, Jobs and other expenses helps/donations/Zakat Fund/grants as soon as possible.

Thanks with best regards and thanks with best wishes and every happy new years.
Kindly acknowledge the receipt.

Awaiting your payments please expedite your very good hand cheque (Flats,Jewellery,Furniture and other expenses)helps/donations/Zakat Fund/grants as soon as possible.

This is called “assuming the sale,” I believe.

Muhammad Aslam (Babu)
S/o Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia
BANTVA MEMON JAMAT,(Membership No.G 8060,
CNIC# 42301-6280191-9
C/O PAKISTAN INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT,
PIM MANAGEMENT HOUSE, SHAHRAH IRAN,
CLIFTON, KARACHI-75600-Sindh PAKISTAN

Permanent Address:
=================
Memon Arcade,4th Floor,
Lyari Town,Flat No.401, Plot
No.79/10,Opp: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane,
Karachi-75660 Sindh -Pakistan
Tel. # 92-021-32527224

Present Address:
=============
Anees Manzil, Flat No.32,3rd Floor,
Near Masomeen Hospital and Chottani
Medical Store,Moosa Lane, Lyari Town, Karachi-75660
Sindh-Pakistan

With Best Complaints:
=================
Mr. Barak ObamaPresident USA

If the sender of this can find me, surely he can use a search engine and discover that Mr. Obama is no longer President of the United States? Or maybe there’s another “USA” that Obama assumed the Presidency of on 21 January 2017?

Mrs. Shamim
w/o.Muhammad Aslam (Babu) Jan Muhammad
Abdul Karim Kapdia
(Bantva Memon Jamat)
D/o. SulemanAdam Mandotarawala

Rather funny how he repeats the addresses several times. Maybe he’s expecting the recipients to print out the page(s) and cut out those addresses as mailing labels so they can send multiple envelopes, each one with a check or money order inside?

Permanent Address:
================
Memon Arcade, 4th Floor,
Lyari Town,Flat No.401, Plot No.79/10,
Opp: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane,
Karachi-75660 Sindh – Pakistan
Tel. # 92-021-32527224

Present Address:
=============
Anees Manzil, Flat No.32,3rd Floor,
Near Masomeen Hospital and Chottani Medical Store,
Moosa Lane, Lyari Town, Karachi-75660
Sindh-Pakistan

Sumair S/o. Muhammad Aslam(Babu) Jan Muhammad
Abdul Karim Kapadia (Bantva Memon Jamat)
(BANTVA MEMON JAMAT
Membership No.G 8060
CNIC# 42301-6280191-9

Permanent Address:
================
Memon Arcade, 4th Floor,
Lyari Town,Flat No.401, Plot No.79/10,
Opp: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane,
Karachi-75660 Sindh – Pakistan
Tel. # 92-021-32527224

Present Address:
==============
Anees Manzil, Flat No.32,3rd Floor,
Near Masomeen Hospital and
Chottani Medical Store, Moosa Lane,
Karachi-75660 Sindh-Pakistan

Samreen D/o.Muhammad Aslam (Babu) Jan Muhammad
Abdul Karim Kapadia (Bantva Memon Jamat)
CNIC # 42301-93856506-6,Membership # F-12598

Present Address:
=============
Anees Manzil, Flat No.32,3rd Floor,
Near Masomeen Hospital and Chottani Medical Store,
Moosa Lane, Lyari Town, Karachi-75660 Sindh-Pakistan

Permanent Address:
================
Memon Arcade, 4th Floor, Lyari Town,Flat No.401,
Plot No.79/10,OPP: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane,Karachi-75660
Sindh – PakistanTel. # 92-021-32527224

Saqib S/o. Muhammad Aslam(Babu) Jan Muhammad
Abdul Karim Kapdia (Bantva Memon Jamat)
(BANTVA MEMON JAMAT, Membership No.G 8060
CNIC # 42301-6280191-9

Permanent Address:
================
Memon Arcade, 4th Floor,
Lyari Town,Flat No.401, Plot No.79/10,
Opp: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane,
Karachi-75660 Sindh – Pakistan
Tel. # 92-021-32527224

Present Address:
==============
Anees Manzil, Flat No.32,3rd Floor,
Near Masomeen Hospital and Chottani Medical Store,
Moosa Lane, Lyari Town, Karachi-75660 Sindh-Pakistan

Abdullah (Munna) Daughter Son of
Muhammed Aslam (Babu) Jan Muhammad Abdul Karim Kapdia
Bantva Memon Jamat

“Daughter Son of” ? I was under the impression that people who used Islam as their excuse for infringing others’ liberties and pursuit of happiness[1] weren’t too fond of people of the trans persuasion? Am I wrong here?

Permanent Address:
================
Memon Arcade, 4th Floor,
Lyari Town,Flat No.401, Plot No.79/10,
Opp: Pathan Masjid, Moosa Lane,
Karachi-75660 Sindh – Pakistan
Tel. # 92-021-32527224

Present Address:
==============
Anees Manzil, Flat
No.32,3rd Floor, Near Masomeen Hospital and Chottani
Medical Store, Moosa Lane,
Lyari Town, Karachi-75660
Sindh – Pakistan
Tel. # 92-021-32527224


NOTES

  1. As does Daesh and al-Qaeda, like the Westboro Baptist Church, the “Army of God” on whose behalf Eric Rudolph was blowing up abortion clinics in the late 1990s, etc.
  2. Reposted –
    1. Personal blogs and micro-blogs – Diaspora* / Ello / Facebook / Gab / Google Plus / Minds / seen.life / Twitter / VK / WordPress.com
    2. Darth Mike – Facebook / WordPress.com

Copyright © 2017 Mike Blessing. All rights reserved.
Produced by KCUF Media, a division of Extropy Enterprises.
This blog entry created with Notepadqq.

Advertisements

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Good for a laugh, at least

Filed under: Fun, Humor, Life, Social Life — Tags: , , , , — mikewb1971 @ 1:21 AM (01:21)

As I noted in the title of this entry, this should be good for a laugh, at least.

I mean — come on now — people are supposed to vote between me and a 20-year-old webcam queen over who they would rather “. . . ?” with.

I presume that the “. . . ?” should be read as “have sex with” . . . ?

The webcam queen in question forgot that there are plenty of people who can’t be bothered with these “battles” in the first place (like me).

She (?) should also remember that only one or two percent of the population is bisexual, so people are either going to vote for her, or for me. It’s pretty much a binary choice here. I’m not expecting much of a swing vote in this “contest.”

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: