Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Hey, Democrats — McCain Still Wins!

Filed under: Politics — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — mikewb1971 @ 6:00 PM (18:00)

Yeah, yeah, I know — Barack Obama (or Barky Obummer, as I call him at times) won the 2008 presidential race by a landslide. To do that, he kicked the living shit out his main (false) opponent, John McCain (AKA the  Manchurian Senator AKA McClown). No, folks, there’s not going to be a repeat of the 2000 election fiasco, where Republicans were scouring Florida for “hanging chads” when not going up against Democrats in various courts.

Which is a damn shame, as watching was a rather entertaining demonstration of what the Republican and Democratic Parties are REALLY all about — getting and retaining power. It is their raison d’etre, while being really the only glue that holds them together and keeps them in power. Incumbency begets incumbency — it’s a positive feedback loop that sucks its operating resources from the general American population.

But guess what, Democrats — McCain still wins!

Now, I imagine you’re wondering, “Mike, What the fuck are you talking about? Are you on crack?” I suspect that five minutes after  this hits the web, the messages calling me a “fukin idiot” and “aswipe” will start arriving.

The answer is rather self-evident, but you have to approach the question from a libertarian perspective if you’re going to get there on your own. Lucky for y’all, I’m a nice enough guy to spell it out for you.

All McClown lost this year was the presidential race, and he probably didn’t spend much of his own money doing that. He did blow through about 50 million FRNs worth of donations from others, and the cash that he spent that was his own, he’ll replace that by sending out one of those by sending out some “Please help me retire my campaign debt” letters to the suckers, er, I mean, party faithful amongst the Republicans. So McClown is most likely in good financial shape, or if not, will be soon. If he isn’t, how many people reading this will actually give a shit? I certainly won’t.

He also retains his cushy spot warming a chair in the U.S. Senate as the senior Senator from Arizona. (Why they keep re-electing him is beyond my understanding. Really, folks — can’t you find anyone else?) His current term expires in 2010, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him run for re-election. As an incumbent Senator, McClown retains his taxpayer-paid annual salary (169,300 FRN), as well as taxpayer-paid health benefits, and a clique of taxpayer-paid Arizona State Troopers around him as bodyguards.

Should McClown decide to retire during this term (hey, I can hope, right?), he’ll have whatever he’s got stashed away (courtesy of the taxpayer), in addition to his taxpayer-paid senatorial pension.

What’s this mean to the proverbial John Q. Public, Joe Sixpack, Susan Soccer Mom, Jane Doe, and Dave NASCAR Dad? They all have one thing in common with respect to this article — they’re all taxpayers. They are the ones who ultimately get to pay for McClown’s benefits package.

If you think that Obummer is going to lift this burden from you by “soaking the rich,” think again — rich people get rich because they provide products and services that other people want, they invest their spare FRNs instead of spending them on cheap beer and football packages from the cable company, and they pass along their business costs to the end user. Guess what — taxes are another cost of doing business, and those get passed along too — see for yourself after you’re done shopping. Your receipt will have a line under “SUBTOTAL” marked “TAX.” So no matter how much Obummer “soaks the rich,” YOU pay it in the end as a consumer.

So while you’re worrying about making your payments on the house, credit cards and vehicle, McClown’s biggest problem seems to be which four- or five-star restaurant to go to for dinner.

And it’s all on your tab. Enjoy! I’m sure that he’ll be grateful should you bump into him on the street. That’s assuming that the accompanying State Troopers let you get that close in the first place.

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