Subject: To Attack in a Perpendicular Manner
Date: Friday, May 25, 2001 4:08 PM
To Attack in a Perpendicular Manner
When writing emails to public officials, forget about flaming them with four-letter profanities – it just pisses them off and makes you look bad. Also, forget about trying to convince them with statistics and figures – most of them already have access to the same data – and couldn’t care less. Instead, hit them with a good dose of humor and get “chummy” with them.
It doesn’t hurt to make sure that each of the person’s political opponents gets the message, as well as the media columnists who are opposed to the official in question.
And above all – SCREAM AND LEAP – go for the throat. The Kzin Patriarch himself should point you out to his cubs (?) and say, “Listen up, Heroes – that hairless monkey is the example to follow.”
– Mike Blessing / The Sedition Group
———- Forwarded message ———-
Date: Fri, 25 May 2001 13:51:49 -0700 (MDT)
Subject: Missed you on Monday, Darling!
To: Jim Baca ,,Connie Beimer , Vicki Fisher ,Fabrizio Bertoletti , Brian Morris , Gerry Galvin
Cc: Alan B. Armijo ,Vincent E. Griego , Adele Baca-Hundley ,Brad Winter ,Tim Kline ,Hess Yntema ,Mike McEntee , Greg Payne ,Michael Brasher , firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, bhume@Abqjournal.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
I didn’t see you at the City Council meeting on Monday night (21 May). I imagine that some of my gun-toting comrades thought that you had chickened out, but I know better. You’re too busy trying to get His Royal Highness Mr. Koldyke a multi-million-dollar welfare check so He can build His new baseball stadium.
(I’ll make you a deal on the stadium: I’ll consent to you spending 25 million for Koldyke if you also spend 25 million for ME (and anyone else who steps forward) You’re familiar with the Ladera Golf Course? What I want is for it to be turned into an indoor shooting range capable of handling the .50-caliber rifles I hope to get some day. Right next to said range, I want an Icehouse-style nudie bar. While you, Pat Bryan and Mike Koldyke are enjoying baseball games at MY expense, I’ll be able to do likewise – blowing off a few hundred rounds through my “assault weapons” and then looking at naked women all night – at YOURS. (You *DO* realize that I’m being facetious here – I don’t want anyone being taxed to support EITHER project – but I’ll buy a share in a privately-funded stadium if you buy a share in a privately-funded version of what I want….))
Well, since you weren’t there, I’ll give you what I had written down for my 120 seconds of public comment time. (I ad-libbed a phrase or two, but so what? It wasn’t much and it’s not important.)
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Mike Blessing, and I’m here to represent the Libertarian Party of New Mexico and the Tyranny Response Team of New Mexico. I’m a resident of Albuquerque’s District 1 and I’m 100% against the proposed ban on concealed weapons.
Forget that citizens carrying guns give the criminal element a reason to go away. OR that criminals won’t obey the ban anyway. OR that private citizens have a better safety record than the police, APD included. Dial 911? The last time I did that, no one answered – that’s right, ANSWERED – until 50 minutes after I first called.
The MAIN reason that some want to take guns away from others is simple. They don’t want “those people” carrying weapons for self-defense. Put quotes around “those people.”
In the pre-1960’s South, “those people” were blacks. In 1930’s Nazi Germany, “those people” were the Jews. In present-day America, it’s anyone those charged with enforcing or making the laws find to be inconvenient – such as – the people assembled here before you?
Final note – I look forward to the person next to me at the movies having a gun – carried openly or concealed.
At any rate –
Toodie-doo, Sweetums! See ya on the campaign trail!
– Mike Blessing,
LPNM / TRT-NM
Sponsored by The Sedition Group
- Approximate reading level – 10
- Published elsewhere
- The Libertarian Enterprise – Number 124, 4 June 2001